Posts Tagged submissive Sunday
I was so undecided before I started writing this as to whether or not I’d actually publish it because I still am having trouble actually believing it. But I’ve started now so I’ll finish, but this will be a post in two parts so keep your eyes peeled for the next instalment
As you’ll remember from a few blog posts ago, one of the people I’m seeing regularly here is a guy by the name of Lion who did/does porn photos for a company based in a city near here. It turns out one of the other things he does is work – in the cloakroom – for a kink and fetish club that happens once a month in the city. Sunday night was that night for this month, and since I was bored and he promised me free entry, I got the train and went. I was quite apprehensive but if you remember, Magenta from Submissive Sunday started going to similar and presumably better attended parties not so long ago and I remembered how much she’d enjoyed herself. Plus I know Lion, so it’s not totally going in blind. He met me at the station and took me to the club, where true to his word I didn’t pay anything to get in. I changed to sme tight, tiny black underwear and donned the neko gear I alluded to recently, and after being introduced to the owner and some of the staff went to see who I could play with.
Now, I’ll try anything once but for the record being tied up and poked and prodded and whipped is not my idea of fun. I don’t really see the appeal, though if it works for you it’s fine. What I don’t object to though is playing around in a cage with a pretty boy also in his underwear; more or less left to our own devices for the whole night except when Lion was free to come in and join us, Stwc (really) and I got to know each other quite well over the course of the evening. When the time came for me to get my train back Lion came and told me and I said I had do go, Stwc shook his head. “No, you don’t. Stay with me. I’m staying at the manager’s tonight ’cause I’m doing a photo shoot here tomorrow” (He lives just over 200 km away so it doesn’t make sense to do that journey four times in two days). We shouted over the manager to ask him if that would be okay, and he said it would be “but you’ll have to share a bed with Stwc and Lion”. What’s that, you say? Share a bed with two guys both of whom I’m attracted to and both of whom I’ve had fun with? Oh, go on then…
“Come to think of it,” Manager continues, “The guy who Stwc is meant to be doing his photos with tomorrow isn’t someone who we’ve worked with before, there’s every chance he won’t turn up? If he doesn’t do you want his place? It’s paid, obviously” (and paid not badly either). Sure, why not. I’ve seen pictures from the site, it’s nothing too drastic. “Actually, let’s make the photo shoot a threesome. I can’t pay you as much as I normally would since there’ll be three of you, but does [figure 66% of his normal rate] sound okay?” Well, it’s more money than I was expecting to make. And no uni the next day. So, fuck it. I agreed.
After the club closed, Lion, Stwc and I went back to Managers where, feigning exhaustion, we tumbled into bed. We even went through the charade of sorting out who would sleep where and who would spoon who (I slept in the middle and spooned Stwc cause though he’s the oldest, he’s shorter than both Lion and I) and turning out the light and saying goodnight. At one point I started laughing, out loud and slightly maniacally. “This can’t be real,” I said. “I’m in bed with two porn actors. This can’t be happening. This doesn’t happen in real life” except apparently it does, and I shouldn’t have been so surprised because as you all know weird shit happens to me all the time but this was really, really weird.
The tension got too much, after about 90 seconds (paragons of virtue that we are) before Lion tilted my head and kissed me and at the same time I reached out and after misplacing my hand over Stwc’s belly button I moved it down and landed it where it needed to be and began to stroke him through his boxers as Lion got on top of me and pulled down both mine and Stwc’s underwear. Stwc and I were under strict instructions not to cum before the shoot the next day but Lion is very enthusiastic with his oral skills so edged us as much as he could with the two of us making out hungrily (he’s a good kisser) before we finished him off.
We then went to sleep and Lion got up at 6 am to get the train and go to uni. When Stwc and I woke up we made out for a bit before getting ready and meeting our co-star for the day and heading back to the club for the photo shoot… which is another story for another day.
Remember that potential fifth person in the city that I mentioned in the last post? Well…
On Wednesday morning I got up, went to uni, did what I had to do there, and when I was on the bus back down into town to go home I got a text from Lion Boy saying he was in town with some friends for a drink and that I was welcome to join them. I don’t know the city centre particularly well yet but I knew where the bar was that they were in, so I went, and I went back to Lion Boy’s and spent the night. Hands and faces again, but fun nonetheless.
Thursday morning, I went straight from his to university, stopping at the pharmacy on the way for a toothbrush and toothpaste (both half price, by the way, it’s like they knew I was coming) and spent the day interpreting, since that’s what I do. I then went back home, was there for less than an hour and a half, and then went back out to meet my uni’s LGBT society at the only gay bar in town. It was a social event between our university and the other one in the city, and who attends that one? Lion Boy. So I found myself in the awkward situation of trying to look like I hadn’t lost interest in him – which I haven’t – while simultaneously (successfully) trying to get to Cheeky Fifth’s bedroom too. As the night wore on and we were talking, I took out my phone and sighed. “Look at the time,” I said, “I’ve missed the last bus home”
Cheeky Fifth cocked his head to one side. “So what’re you going to do?”
“A long walk home, I suppose… or… well, I’ll sort something out”
He winked. “We’ll get you sorted.”
His housemate then dragged us both onto the dancefloor where we made out – Lion Boy standing right next to us, am I a bad person? – and then left together. He lives very centrally (I don’t) so we went back to his. His room is huge, but freezing, and it’s on a main road so it’s quite noisy in the mornings, but what can you do. He’s a very good, very enthusiastic kisser, and very much a bottom. I didn’t fuck him because he didn’t want to (this time), but we had a lot of fun anyway. He kept making all these little noises, not just moaning but almost squeaking at points, which was a bit of a weird turn on. I spent the night and went straight to uni – I preemptively took my new toothbrush out with me this time – and that’s where I am now, between lectures. Anyway, he’s having a housewarming party on Saturday that I’m planning on going to so hopefully there’ll be a repeat performance there… and of course Music Man, who I think is coming back to mine again on Sunday.
Well, they did tell us to have a hobby to keep us sane during this course.
This one comes from Ange, who has been reading this blog since the early days. By which I mean about January. Anyway. Enjoy!!
Ok, so I love reading about Dex’s casual sex meets because it takes me back to a time when casual sex was my favourite hobby. I’m not too old, but old enough to remember chatlines – before the introduction of a well-known website where you want people to paw your profile and a lazer-buzz could herald your next fuck. Those were trying times and I had to invoke the Trades Description Act on a number of occasions, but I digress. So, sex-meets revolutionized by t’internet, I started making my way through the huddled masses and experimenting with some different stuff to find out what I liked. Sometimes pleasantly surprised, sometimes repulsed and (on at least one occasion) quite alarmed – but that’s another post.
One evening after a few lazer-buzz messages I agreed for a reasonably good-looking guy to come over to mine. “One thing. I have a bit of a denim fetish.” says he while I’m giving him directions. Ok, fair enough, after the incident with the belt I think I can handle denim. “Do you have any tight jeans?” was the next question. I did indeed. I had a pair of Levi 501s that I’d had since I was 15 and, yes, I was prepared to squeeze myself into them for his arrival. Good.
He arrived about 20 minutes later and I was thinking “great, I’ll be able to get these jeans off before they permanently mark me” (I was a VERY skinny teenager). Bingo! He liked the jeans, they really turned him on and we started rolling around in my livingroom. It was actually very exciting… he was touching me up through the jeans, feeling every inch of my lower body right down to my ankles and back up again. Then, just as I thought I was going to be released from my denim prison, he tells me that he has brought a pair of jeans with him that he would like me to wear. Erm… ok then. He nips out to the car and comes back with a pair of denims that I can only guess were purchased from GapBaby. I had two options for getting into them – A) I could cut off my feet or B) I could get greased up and jump in from the top of the wardrobe.
Ok, ok, it’s just jeans I thought. So there I was in my livingroom squeezing into these ridiculously small jeans will he sits on the sofa watching and moaning (not touching himself or anything). Then, as I held my breath and did up the last button, he shot his load. Right there and then. No wanking, no touching, no nothing. I didn’t know whether I was more impressed or angry, given the fact that I had yet to be satisfied. He seemed quite embarrassed, crow-barred the jeans off me and left. I have never just came by looking at something, no matter how erotic (which obviously, I am). I wonder if any of you have?
So there we have it!! If you’ve got a story or rant of your own and feel like helping a blogger out, drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org and you may well see yourself here in a couple of weeks’ time!
Three guesses where this person lives!!
Last summer I was outside camping with some friends. We were almost in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by big trees right next to our tent and next to an open field. Somehow I ended up in my friend’s tent (which is a whole other story to write about) and we had barely fallen asleep when the wind started kicking in. Normally I’m not afraid of thunderstorms but this one was right over us. The lightning came right along with some earth shattering thunder.
It was like Noah’s perfect day to take his new ark out for a ride – Armageddon LIVE! – and I think for the first time in my life I was really aware that nature is so much more powerful than we humans and that if we don’t take good care of ourselves we could end up dead…
“But I don’t want to die!!”, I thought to myself followed by the first next thought that came to my mind….”I need to have more sex!!!”. I don’t know if you ever had the feeling that this might be IT. But I figured that the “I need to have more sex” thing was definitely something that needed to be realized ASAP!
So obviously we all didn’t die, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to write this story but I didn’t forget about my “God’s given ‘vision’ ”
Since I am so not into the whole “let’s go out dancing, get drunk and find someone to have sex with”-thing and I am also not really into having sex as a straight woman – I was hunting around for places where my queer self would be much appreciated AND I could have sex (also, there is a slightly higher chance of running into men in woman’s underwear at queer sex parties than in an ordinary club ;-))
Luckily I live in one the the world’s most artsy and colourful cities, so there are countless possibilities to find a good sex party: straight, lesbian, gay, queer, BDSM, trans*, role play, with and without playing dirty (maybe the term “golden shower” rings a bell) leather fetish….we even have several locations which offer special “playgrounds”, meaning you find cages, crosses, stretching banks as well as whips, riding crops and bondage gear. As I always say: we live in paradise. It’s right there in front of your eyes, you just have to look around and view it. (As Willy Wonka likes to sing….I have a chocolate fetish by the way, but then who doesn’t ;-))
Off I went to my first sex party which luckily somehow was almost right next to my place, so even as I wanted to chicken out there were no excuses like “but it’s too far, I’m too tired, it’s raining”. I decided to go for a “no underwear, nylons, mini-skirt and minor-see-through shirt along some with heels” – outfit.
It was a party for women, lesbians and trans* which also offered a short bondage workshop in the beginning – something that I always have been curious about.
The place itself looked like a “playground for adults”. As I walked down the stairs I found myself in the arousing world of leather swings, cages and gynaecologist chairs – so hot! Very happy about this newly found universe in the city, I was literally gliding upstairs, flying by the bar straight into another room in the backside of the club.
Comfy, wide imitation leather couches were waiting for their horny guests.
The woman who was offering the bondage workshop gave the female crowd an overview about the basic rules for tying someone up nicely and even more important: safely! (Note: always have a pair of scissors handy.) I was so excited about learning about different ropes and knots to fiercely dominate and tie up the next person who would be remotely submissive, but after several demonstrations of different knots (and a very long working day) my brain was one big knot itself and couldn’t remember anything that it just had been taught. So there went my fantasy…
So I bravely volunteered to play the submissive part as we got to practise on each other. In walks – as I like to call her – Bondage Girl. Tall, athletic body, short blond hair (and a very stylish haircut! I am a sucker for stylish haircuts!), green eyes…”So…you want to be tied up?!”…rope in her hands…
I huddled up in my short skirt and nylons thinking: “I’m not wearing a thong…now everyone is gonna see my…ah…right! Sex Party…! Exhibtionist mode on…!” (not that it’s ever off)-
Bondage Girl straightens out the rope… it gently glides around my ankles winding its way up my each leg like a snail… smoothly moving the soft nylon on my skin…
“Shall I go on and tie you up even more? I am in the mood to experiment…” Experiment away!
The rope continues its journey around my hands which are now safely secured in a praying position in front of my chest. Each time she makes a knot she pulls the rope gently but firmly, leaving no doubt that she’s in control. She takes my shackled hands, puts them behind my head and starts sliding the rope around my chest…there is no way to move my hand from the back of my head. She loops the rope around each breast continuing making smaller knots on my sternum…then she pulls the whole art work on my sternum towards her…It’s like 10 pairs of hands touching you everywhere of your body, luring you with the sweet gentle touch of a lover and leaving you with the feeling of being someone’s prey…
I never thought I would enjoy receiving bondage, leaving me wanting more. In my personal life and in my life as woman who runs her own business I am quite the doer. So of course it first felt like the obvious and natural thing to be the one to “do” (give) bondage to a play partner. WRONG! It was somehow not only arousing but also very relaxing to for one moment NOT be the one to “pull the strings”.
Guess you never know until you try 😉
After this night I ran into the woman who was offering the bondage workshop during a female porn award party (GOD! I love my colourful artsy hometown!) and I kind of started seeing her. Since she obviously is into giving bondage it naturally led to being “tied up” during another sex party where I also had a fierce “foreplay” with a gorgeous trans* in woman’s underwear, suspenders, nylons and high heels…but that’s another story…
In case you are getting curious yourself about going to a sex party – here are some tips.
Things you want to check before going to a sex party and while you are there:
– Check with people who already have been there if it is a safe place for you to be there – what were their experiences like? (I did ask the owner and well known sex-positive activist in my favourite sex shop for women and trans* as well as people from the queer community)
– Know what you like or would like to experience and were your borders are. Being tiet up might be a lot of pleasure for one person but sheer horror for another.
– ALWAYS PLAY SAFE!!!!! If you are going to a sex party there should be free access to condoms, dental dams and gloves as well as lubricant. If you have small hands like I do it might be a good idea to bring your own gloves in a smaller size since I mostly find gloves starting at a medium size at these parties. Of course this works, too, but if you are finger fucking someone – especially guys – the gloves tend to wrinkle up which can be a bit unpleasant for the other person. Also for fisting it’s important that the gloves fit perfectly well.
– For sanitary purposes there should be disinfection spray and wipes. All surfaces at the party should be able to be cleaned and disinfected. The playground should look and be left clean.
– The rules of the sex party should be printed out and visible to everyone. Read them! Normally the door men or woman or someone who has already been there will explain these rules to you and give you a tour through the location.
– Always check if it is ok to watch a sex scene. Of course you don’t just walk up to someone and ask during their play but normally people give hand signs or let you know if they don’t want you to watch. It’s always good to ask when you arrive at a party what the rules about watching a scene are.
– If you are hearing the words “Help me, please help me!!!” it’s not necessarily a reason to rush over and “free” the other person. Especially at BDSM parties this can be part of the play. However each party has code words to ensure the safety. I mostly find the code words: green, yellow and red. Red usually is the term for “stop”. Make sure to know what the code words are BEFORE becoming intimate with someone. Talk to the other person about your code word for “stop” and know theirs.
– Get to know the person(s) you will have sex with BEFORE the actions starts. A good and healthy minded play partner will ask for your borders (“is there anything that you don’t want me to do?”) and might even check with you during the action when unsure. Since I am not of the quiet kind I had a very cute play partner ask “Is it ok what I am doing?” couple of times during our night of fun before s/he knew for sure I was (very!!!) fine 😉 For example: I like to be tied up and spanked but you don’t want the person to grab my feet – Might seem illogical, but it gives you an idea.
– If the person wants you to do something you haven’t tried before and you are curious but inexperienced: Let them know! They might be fine with it and teach you something new and exciting! However if you are not up for this particular new practise, just say “no”.
– The most important thing someone taught me at a sex party was: “You have to learn to say NO.” If someone wants to have sex with you but you don’t, it doesn’t mean that you have to say YES because you are at a sex party. NO it is! Also, if they are into something that crosses your healthy borders and you don’t feel comfortable with: NO!
Having sex is very intimate and you open yourself up to someone because you trust them. Always make sure you are and feel safe otherwise you will be left with some scars (not only physically but mentally) and you might end up paying a lot of money for a good therapist.
– Stay clean! Sex parties are definitely not the place to get drunk or take drugs of any kind. You want to be your sober self who is aware of what you are doing and what you are receiving. Though there are quite some drugs out there that can intensify the pleasures of sex I certainly would not take them with someone I don’t know.
– Be yourself! Be open about what you like. Dress like you feel like. One of the questions I get the most is: What to people wear during a sex party. Well, that depends on the party. If it’s a BDSM party I see a lot of leather gear. At a party for woman/lesbian I found a lot of tank tops and jeans, at a queer party I found people dressing from casual to half-naked-pink-butterfly-elf with glitter. Some are standing by the bar in their underwear, others have see-through tops, I like to go for short dresses and skirts without underwear and nylons…so it really depends on what you like! Don’t dress as someone you are not, try to find a way to express yourself through your outfit.
COME as you are 😉