Archive for October, 2012


(No, I’m not pregnant).

I’ve been meaning to write this post for almost a week but you know what it’s like, things get in the way. I was in the Big City over the weekend seeing friends and relatives I haven’t seen in a while which was fun, and then this week hit the ground running with studying, translating and interpreting until my ears bled.

Anyway, last Thursday I went out and expected to run into and potentially go home with Cheeky Fifth again; he wasn’t there though, so I scoped out the rest of the talent – the bar is small and was pretty dead this week – and got talking to a boy called A, who as it happens is in the same year and doing the same course as Lion Boy. He was very very nervous and had to drink a bit to be able to keep talking. Bear that in mind, it’s an important detail.

We left after a bit to go back to his (the same bar man has seen me leave with a different guy every week since I moved to this town a month ago, I wonder what he thinks… then again the club I went to back home, the cloakroom guy saw me leaving with a different guy every week for months on end so really I shouldn’t be worried) and got the bus there, so I can only assume it was relatively early. We got back to his tiny bedroom, quietly so as not to wake up his housemates who have apparently never seen him drunk, and went to bed.

The first disaster struck pretty early on when he turned over and elbowed me in the nose pretty hard, and since then if you move my nose it makes this weird clicking noise so it’s probably broken or something. But we got over that, played about a bit – nothing serious and neither of us finished; and since it got to 2am, he said he was tired and could we go to sleep so off the light went and we lay down.


He stood back up and grabbed the bin from under his desk. Oh no. “Go to the sink!” I said (there was a sink in his room, weirdly) and he vomited. Into the sink. Lovely. So, when he’d calmed down a bit I got him some water, got dressed, and walked home – it took a fucking age and it was freezing. I wasn’t best pleased. Over the weekend though, he text to apologise and asked me if he could take me out for coffee to make it up to me, and being low on cash and caffeine dependant, I accepted. So on Monday we went to what was actually a really nice café-bar across the river from where I live, and had a nice time for a couple of hours. He was nervous again but at least didn’t cover the nerves with vodka this time and he was funny in parts. We said goodbye, I went to uni for a horrendous lecture on globalisation (I get why I need to know it to do what I’m doing but that doesn’t mean I like it) and then went home.

On the bus home he text again to say he’d enjoyed himself and that he wanted to see me again; so I asked if he wanted to come over to watch a film, and he agreed. We all know what that means. So over he came and this time managed not to punch me in the face or vomit at any point. He took for fucking ever to cum though – seriously, like two hours, and he was SO quiet. There’s nothing worse than someone who is quiet in bed. Rule of thumb: If you’re not making any noise, I can’t tell if you like what I’m doing or not, so fucking tell me what you like!! It’s really very simple! He did eventually cum though, and then finished me off (I like to make sure the other person cums first a lot of the time, I’m not sure why. I think it’s an ego thing, sort of Look what I made this person do, they must think I’m really hot which in turn boosts my own orgasm when it comes/cums. Why the fact that they’re in bed with me isn’t validation enough I don’t know but there you go. I clearly have issues but then the fact that I write this blog is indication enough of that. Why am I saying this? Shut up, Dexxx). Because he had a 9am lecture the next day he left, and I went to sleep. Will I see him again? I don’t know to be honest but I’m tending towards no. To be completely honest I’m still holding out hope on Cheeky Fifth making a reappearance, though every time I run into him in town or on campus it seems less and less likely so maybe I should stop hoping for that and move the fuck on. Wow, I’m swearing a lot today.

In other news I saw Lion Boy again last night. Remember I mentioned that he had some kinks that I was hoping to explore with him? I’m not sure how much detail I’m going to go into here, so for now I’ll just say “neko boy” and leave it up to you whether or not you want to google that.

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Trimming Down

Well, things are all off with Music Man. It’s a shame, I thought he would last a bit longer but apparently he’s “not ready to move on” after a break up two years (TWO YEARS?) ago. That and he “didn’t think we clicked, particularly when you had an attitude about some things”. Well, that’s your call I suppose. But then he didn’t reply to any more texts and didn’t answer the phone either. Pathetic.

Just one thought on this, really; if you’re going to break things off with someone using a shitey excuse, for the love of god at least be consistent. Pick one lie and stick with it, it makes the whole thing marginally more credible.

Anyway, there’s still Lion Boy and possibly also Cheeky Fifth on the go (probably going to see him tonight more by dint of being in the same place at the same time rather than any plans the two of us have made. I’m unsure as to whether he wants that to be a one-time thing or to see each other regularly but I’ll find out and report back), and I’m going to The Big City tomorrow morning for the weekend and you never know who you’ll run into there. Fingers crossed!

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Very busy week

Remember that potential fifth person in the city that I mentioned in the last post? Well…

On Wednesday morning I got up, went to uni, did what I had to do there, and when I was on the bus back down into town to go home I got a text from Lion Boy saying he was in town with some friends for a drink and that I was welcome to join them. I don’t know the city centre particularly well yet but I knew where the bar was that they were in, so I went, and I went back to Lion Boy’s and spent the night. Hands and faces again, but fun nonetheless.

Thursday morning, I went straight from his to university, stopping at the pharmacy on the way for a toothbrush and toothpaste (both half price, by the way, it’s like they knew I was coming) and spent the day interpreting, since that’s what I do. I then went back home, was there for less than an hour and a half, and then went back out to meet my uni’s LGBT society at the only gay bar in town. It was a social event between our university and the other one in the city, and who attends that one? Lion Boy. So I found myself in the awkward situation of trying to look like I hadn’t lost interest in him – which I haven’t – while simultaneously (successfully) trying to get to Cheeky Fifth’s bedroom too. As the night wore on and we were talking, I took out my phone and sighed. “Look at the time,” I said, “I’ve missed the last bus home”
Cheeky Fifth cocked his head to one side. “So what’re you going to do?”
“A long walk home, I suppose… or… well, I’ll sort something out”
He winked. “We’ll get you sorted.”

His housemate then dragged us both onto the dancefloor where we made out – Lion Boy standing right next to us, am I a bad person? – and then left together. He lives very centrally (I don’t) so we went back to his. His room is huge, but freezing, and it’s on a main road so it’s quite noisy in the mornings, but what can you do. He’s a very good, very enthusiastic kisser, and very much a bottom. I didn’t fuck him because he didn’t want to (this time), but we had a lot of fun anyway. He kept making all these little noises, not just moaning but almost squeaking at points, which was a bit of a weird turn on. I spent the night and went straight to uni – I preemptively took my new toothbrush out with me this time – and that’s where I am now, between lectures. Anyway, he’s having a housewarming party on Saturday that I’m planning on going to so hopefully there’ll be a repeat performance there… and of course Music Man, who I think is coming back to mine again on Sunday.

Well, they did tell us to have a hobby to keep us sane during this course.

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Sunday Snuggles

This Sunday I had quite a nice day. After an exhausting first week of classes at uni (“Be an interpreter,” they said, “it’ll be fun,” they said…) and an ill-advised yet tame flat party on Friday night, I spent almost the entire day on Saturday in bed. Mostly asleep, also masturbating since we got the internet in the new house only a few days previously and I was really enjoying having unfettered access to porn for the first time in weeks.

Sunday dawned, as Sundays will, and I went into town to meet some friends from my course and go for coffee followed by the cinema to see Woody Allen’s latest offering, From Rome with Love which was actually quite nice.

Anyway, enough of my weekend chat, if that’s what you were here for you’d be following me on Twitter. On Sunday night I finally met Music Man, a boy who got in touch with me almost the minute I changed my location on all my “dating” sites to this city to say, and I quote, “I really fancy you”. He’s very good with music, apparently (theatre director, go figure) but not so great with the words. Oh well, they can learn. Anyway, we’ve been texting and in touch for well over a month by now so it was about time we finally met (he lives about half an hour away from this city and has had a lot of work on recently so it took a while to get round to it). I went to meet him at the train station after the cinema and I have to say I was a bit apprehensive – we’d spoken on the phone a lot, texted etc. but it’s different in person, isn’t it? Hmm.

Anyway, we met at the station and the first thing I felt was absolute relief – not only was he as good looking as his pictures, he was actually even better looking than I imagined. And oh my god, the eyes – I’ve never seen eyes so fucking brown in my life and as you all know by now, brown eyes do things to my insides. We hung about in town a little then got the bus back to mine, very quiet on the way but I don’t think it was particularly awkward really, he’s just a very quiet person. We got to my house, I showed him around a little then went to the bathroom and came back to find  him… in my bed. Well, what can you do.

So I got in next to him – fully clothed, weirdly – and kissing lead to groping lead to clothes coming off. He was quite reserved in which moves he would make first, he claimed he was “trying to be good” – what’s good about denying your sexual urges when you’re in bed with another consenting adult with the same urges as you I’m not sure but anyway, as is my wont I took charge (and his dick in my mouth) to get the ball(s) rolling, as it were. His dick was really, really thick – I know I said that about Man in Suit too and it was true with him, but this one was even thicker. As my friend Tigger likes to say, “short and thick does the trick!” (As opposed to “long and thin, too far in”) though neither were particularly short either. It took a lot of work and him going really slowly but after a bit the pain subsided and it began to feel really good – I didn’t cum hands-free this time but if he’d kept going a while longer I probably would have. We snuggled a bit, it was sickeningly cute probably but who cares when you’re in the afterglow.

At two in the morning I woke up really really hot – two bodies in a single bed, it gets quite hot quite quickly – and rolled over to get some cold air onto my other side. At the same time Music Man rolled over, apparently also awake, kissed me, and off we went again. So really, not much sleep was had but luckily I didn’t have classes this Monday – all of that will change next week when I start auditing the interpreting classes for my third foreign language at 9 a.m., since apparently I’m a masochist – but we did have a good time. I think I’ll be seeing him again this weekend, and fingers crossed for seeing Lion Boy over the course of the week as well. There’s also a cheeky potential 5th person waiting in the wings but I’ll save the details on that for if and when we actually end up in bed together – watch this space 😉

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Flashback Friday: Sociopathic Wednesday

This is probably one of my favourite stories, and it’s been known amongst my friends as Sociopathic Wednesday for quite some time. About this time last year, the LGBT society of the uni I was at held a cheese and wine night/social event for everyone to mingle and get to know each other. This is where I met Pan, who if you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time you’ll know I had quite the crush on for most of last winter. That night he went out but I didn’t, which I think might have been the only time I didn’t go out on a Wednesday night during my last year at uni.

The next week at another event, another friend and I were arranging to go out afterwards and convinced Pan to come with us. “I don’t have any money though” – “It’s fine, it’s free to get in, you can walk home, I’ll buy you a drink…” so he came.

In the club, halfway through the pint I’d fucking paid for, he casually drops into conversation that “this guy I went home with last week is here, I’m really excited to see him again” or words to that effect and off he fucks to go find him. Not twenty minutes later he’s back beside us on the dancefloor, having been flatly turned down by said mystery man. Pan is rejected, Dexxx is rejected, everyone’s a loser. Brilliant night out.

Fast forward a fortnight and the LGBT society – in retrospect this thing was really my downfall last year, but I loved it all the same – had a speed dating night. Pan wasn’t there but halfway through the night I found myself talking to the guy he had had the hots for. (I assume I’d done some fair amount of Facebook stalking in the meantime to be able to work this out). I thought to myself, would it not be poetic justice if I could have sex with him?
This is the point in the story when Hitraya invariably interjects with “I don’t think you know what poetic justice means, Dexxx. It doesn’t just mean being a bitch”.

There was a noticeboard for us to leave anonymous messages to that night, so I left a note for mysterious Irish man: “Number 21: your accent alone could make me cum”. He worked out that it was from me (probably because I signed it) and said to me that he’s see me in the club later. Shit, I thought, I’m meeting Pan in the club… only one thing for it…

“Yeah, or we could just cut out the middle man and go straight back to yours now”
“… I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not”
And Rosaceae, bless her, turns around and says “Trust me, he is”. So we went. I wrote a message to Pan telling him I’d pulled so I would be late, and we went back to Irish Man’s place via the pub for a cheeky pint. The sex was quite rough, he was every inch a top, and with his window being open (ground floor flat too), people going by must have heard more than they ever wanted to. He came first, but kept fucking me until I came too, and then we both got dressed and he went to meet his friends and I jumped in a taxi and met Pan in the club.

“Nice hickeys,” he said when he saw me. “Who was the guy?”
“Oh, some postgrad from Ireland, studies Law…”
“Not R?!”
“Yeah, that was his name!”
“That’s the guy I was seeing!!”
“Really? Wow, I had no idea. Small world.”

That weekend I found myself at a party having a conversation with the two of them at once, and the only way to deal with that situation was to down a bottle of wine quite quickly and the rest of the night is a bit of a blur, but apparently they went home together that night too.

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Third one’s a charmer

On Thursday night I went out with the LGBT society at my new university  (Eternal student, me? Never!), met a lot of new people and had a very, very drunken night. I’m now actually off the drink for a month for Sober October, which I do every now and again. Anyway, I ended up meeting this guy in the club we went to who I had spoken to on a hook-up site I use a lot; we made out but as 1) I was too, too drunk and 2) he had work at seven the following morning, we didn’t go home together, but we did stay in touch.

His profile popped up again on the hook-up site the day before yesterday, and I thought to myself, I’d quite like to see his penis, actually, so I sent a request to see his private album. Yesterday while we were texting he approved the request; but rather than seeing naked pictures of him, I was confronted with a picture of him on a table, taken side on, in full bondage regalia. The caption said that this was for a photoshoot at a company that sounded suspiciously like a porn producer, so I googled the name of the company and the very first picture when I entered the site was one of him.

I’d made out with a pornstar. Score.

So I dropped the photos into conversation; his reply comes back “Oh, they are grim. You maybe wanna come over tonight?” before clarifying it was to “watch a movie” but that I was “welcome to stay over”, and we all know what that means. I think we can all agree that there was only one reasonable response to that question, so I brushed my teeth and put on my shoes and off I went. I met him halfway between his house and mine, he lives on the other side of the river. We even went through the motions of picking a film (Amélie) before we went to his room; we talked for over an hour, about various things, sort of general getting to know you chat. It turns out he’s not massively into bondage, he only did that shoot for the money but he does have a few other kinks that I’ll write about once I’ve tried them out 😉 ); and then since we were watching the film on his laptop he suggested getting into the bed to watch it.
“Okay. I’ll take my jumper off then, it’ll be too hot otherwise”
“There’s another layer under there…”
“Should I take that off too?”
“Well… I’m not suggesting anything”
I leaned over. “Well, I am”. I closed the laptop with one hand while grabbing the back of his neck with the other, and we kissed. The laptop went on the floor, my t-shirt came off as did his (impressive chest, by the way, but not as impressive as his hair which can only be described as a glorious mane) and things got hotter. There was a really long build-up which I loved, lots of stroking and licking and biting and scratching, he was very much a giver too which was really nice since I more or less got to lie back and enjoy myself most of the time. We only did oral this time round (he apparently has no gag reflex, by the way, something I unfortunately can’t claim though I do try). After he came he kept working on me while we heard his house mates coming down the stairs towards the kitchen, which is behind his bedroom. I think I’ve mentioned before that I can be quite noisy when I’m enjoying myself, so he reached up with one hand and covered my mouth, which turned me on even more and I came quite quickly after that.

In the afterglow he was just as attentive as he’d been during the build-up, still stroking and, well, caressing me, for lack of a better word, all over, it was really nice. I tend to go a bit like putty when I’m done so I was writhing about all over the place and despite having already cum four times that day (I had a boring morning and we only just got internet in my new house so I had full recourse to porn for the first time in weeks) and only having slept for two hours the night before (Night terrors and sleep paralysis) I was ready to go again not long afterwards but he had his first day of class today – mine is tomorrow, but we’re at different universities – so we went to sleep. (No night terrors or sleep paralysis this time which is good, though I had warned him about them). This morning we made out a bit but didn’t go further, but fingers crossed we’ll see each other again soon!

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