Given my recent foray back into the world of online “dating” I turned to KittyMama, who is as close to an expert on the practicalities of the topic that I know. Because of the number of time-wasters and undesirables messaging her, she came up with a profile text which basically laid out her ground rules, and she’s let me copy them to my own profile too. If you’re looking into online dating it’s invaluable to have something like this, it really saves a lot of time and effort and though it may seem harsh at first, it’s a lot nicer than giving people false hope and then rejecting them individually. Here, edited, they are;
OK, I’m not new to the online dating world so here is what I’m NOT looking for.
1. NO DICK PICS – I want to see your face and if you’re not showing it I am going to assume it’s because you’re not attractive.
2. IF I DON’T REPLY IT’S BECAUSE I’M NOT INTERESTED. I get a lot of messages and don’t have time to reply “no” to those who don’t meet my requirements, so don’t constantly bombard me with messages. It’s not attractive.
3. I WANT A HOT BODY ON MY MAN. If you are overweight I won’t be interested.
4. DON’T SEND ME A GASH PORNO SCRIPT MESSAGE. A simple “hello my name is…..” will do.
5. IF YOU ARE UNHAPPILY MARRIED DON’T MESSAGE ME. Get a divorce.
6. IF YOU CAN’T SPELL, DON’T WRITE. I really cannot understand the messages with no vowels and lots of numbers. I like my men educated.
Feel free to adapt this to your own needs; I’m putting it on my profile tonight (I feel weird about going onto a hookup site in the uni computer room, which is weird because apparently writing on a sex blog is ok. My head needs to sort itself out) so hopefully it’ll streamline things a little!