Rainy Season

Well, that’s the dry spell over. Hopefully it’ll be the start of a rainy season – or at least a really wet one. (Ha, filth!)

I resorted to a hookup site that I’ve had a profile on since I went somewhere I’d never been before in the summer and wanted to make new friends. I’ve met one or two – actually definitely two – people off it before, one actually really nice guy who I see about town quite a lot and who always says hi still, and another who was visiting from over the border and who I’ll probably (hopefully) never see again. Tonight, bored, I went on and started browsing quite aggressively, sending messages to about half a dozen people or so. The first one to get back to me was a guy who lives in roughly the same part of the city I do, so I got him to drive over and get me (yes, I left details with a friend), and we went back to his.
The sex itself was all right, though I’d really like to know when I’m going to learn that I’m just not a bottom. I try, I really do, and I sometimes really really wish I enjoyed it, but I just… don’t. That’s not completely true; with my ex, who was anything but a bottom, I did enjoy it a few times. Not every time, but a few. (Then again he didn’t have a very big dick and came quite quickly). And with the aggressive top from late last year (there’s a bit of a saga there which I’ll write about one day. My friends and I refer to it as Sociopathic Wednesday) I did actually quite enjoy myself too, and he did have quite a big dick. (Actually thinking about it now, a friend in common might well have told him about this blog. If you’re reading this, hi!) But really it’s the exception that proves the rule.Tonight’s guy had a dick probably similar in size to the guy I’ve just mentioned and really huge balls, but it was just uncomfortable and I really didn’t enjoy that part of it at all.

Probably one problem is that in person I come across as quite passive – I don’t have a very dominating personality (at least, I don’t think so, correct me if I’m wrong) but that doesn’t really show when you first meet me. My appearance and mannerisms tend to suggest I’d be a bottom, or a more passive versatile. I suppose that’s why we shouldn’t rely on stereotypes to judge these things, though that is of course how gaydar works a lot of the time. (Though often it’s more intuitive than anything. A friend of mine recently said that “straight people have no idea how hard it is to work out if the hot person you’ve just met is in any way queer; is that an anorak, or a lesbian anorak”. It’s true).

How similar is it, using appearance and mannerisms to work out a person’s sexual preference, and using appearance and mannerisms to work out a person’s sexual preferences? Hmm. I need to think about that a bit more. I might have to end up calling myself a massive hypocrite on this case. Watch this space.

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  1. #1 by itsmindblowing on February 28, 2012 - 9:28 pm

    What I find really weird about Gayday and Grindr is that the lesbian equivalent is really not the same thing.
    Gayday Girls is for dating, not really hook ups.
    And there’s no equivalent for grindr (I’d call it lickr if I were to make it…) but that’s probably because there no demand.

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