Archive for December, 2011
Today whilst in a bar with some friends (Wee Yin is visiting from South Korea at the minute so we have to catch up when we can), I ran into not one but two people I’ve slept with. Time to move city.
In other news I got Green Jumper Man’s phone number last night so I’m definitely getting my bag back at the start of the new year. Amazing!
And also, I figure it’s about time to let people know what this blog is all about. Basically, it’s a blog about sex – updates on my sex life, but, as Sparkles said, people will get bored of that. So there’s also going to be my thoughts on sex, sexualities, gender, relationships and a whole lot more. It’ll be interesting, I promise!!
Cast your minds back to March 2009, if you can. I don’t remember what I did for the entirety of the month – but I know that I’d just broken up with my first serious girlfriend and was going through my first significant phase of sleeping around a bit.
I also remember that Vegas, a friend of mine from the other side of the world, who was living at the other end of the country, came to my town to celebrate her 21st birthday with me and some other friends. The day after the main celebration we ended up at a flat party, purely by chance – we ran into friends who were also going there and they invited us – and at Vegas’ request more than anything else, I made out with this guy. I later discovered Vegas had filmed it and the video is still floating around on Facebook somewhere.
Fast forward to right now, Vegas is once again in my city, this time for Christmas, and I was relating to her the story of Green Jumper Man and suddenly it struck me – it’s Green Jumper Man in the video from almost three years ago. We went and watched the video just to check, and it is him.
How weird that both encounters with him should happen when Vegas is in the country? What are the odds? I’ve never seen him between times but up he pops (no pun intended) after all this time. Weird.
And I still don’t have my bag back.
Another day, another party. Last night was The Marine’s Christmas party in his, I have to say, very swanky apartment in the city centre. One friend who was there thought to bring her mum and her mum’s fiancée along, which made for a very uncomfortable game of never have I ever. Well from their perspective anyway, the rest of us had a great laugh laughing at them.
I also had the dubious pleasure of hearing one of my own stories being told back to me, in a foreign language, from the flatmate of the boy concerned. Erm… I know this isn’t the largest of cities, but really. Anyway, that’s all another story for another blog.
So yeah, for once (total lie) I’m not really sure how it all happened. Gin was involved and while I was in nowhere near the state I was in the night before last. The Marine just kept topping up my glass every time I took a sip and it was only when I ran into another friend who was leaving the bathroom as I was going in, who helpfully informed me that “you two are definitely having sex tonight”, that it occurred to me he might be keeping the gin flowing for good reason. At one point as he was handing me a refill I said I was really drunk, just to clear up any misconceptions anyone might have had, and he was like “well you can stay here if needs be…” and a stroke to the arm. About quarter to four this morning everyone left and no-one even commented on the fact that I wasn’t, I think the whole thing was well-established by that point, and I was stood in the living room while he saw everyone off at the door. He came back and all he said was “if you happen to be naked on my bed in five minutes…” and I obliged and it carried on from there.
I have to say though – much as I enjoy being submissive at times, very often I’m not a very good bottom. I can count on one hand the number of times when I’ve been the passive partner during male-male sex and actually enjoyed that part of it. Usually it just hurts. The Marine was particularly good about me wanting to stop halfway through though (some people just keep going) and then did his damnedest to get me off. He actually gives really (really!) good head, who knew?
As far as pillow talk goes though, two words you never ever want to hear are the words “my boyfriend”. I honestly didn’t know (though to be honest it probably wouldn’t have stopped me – we’ll have my thoughts on adultery another time). Anyway, I woke up this morning to find that he’d opted to sleep on the couch, vaguely insulting but I know I snore so fair enough really. The walk of shame is much nicer when it starts in such a nice flat – and so central too!
Might as well start with a misadventure!
Actually no I should start with a disclaimer. THIS BLOG IS ABOUT SEX. If you don’t like reading about sex go away, and if you’re too young or it’s illegal to read about sex where you live, you shouldn’t be here.
I’m also really hungover. ANYWAY. Last night I was at a colleague’s flatwarming party – don’t ask me why they only got around to having it in December when they’ve lived there since August – and, since it’s Christmas and wine does terrible things to me, worse than spirits anyway, proceeded to get smashed.
And then things are a bit of a blur, but I found myself on the couch beside Green Jumper Man, hand up his jumper, playing with his nipples. Seemed like a good idea at the time. We pulled and since he lived very nearby we went back to his – skited on my arse for the first time in about five years and now have a ma-hoosive bruise on my backside for it. So we’re on the bed, naked, as one generally is in these situations and I went down on him to get the action started… and after a good five minutes it was still lying there limp. Limply. Whatever. It wasn’t up anyway. Then he gets up to go to the bathroom so I, in my infinite drunken wisdom, got dressed and just left – even found his keys to unlock the door, which actually I think I left open.
I got back to the party I’d just left and the night continued as normal, I think – like I say I was wrecked – but then when I was leaving with another acquaintance who lives not far from me I realised my bag was nowhere to be found. Three guesses where I’d left it?
So if you’re reading this, Green Jumper Man, a couple of notes for you. 1) While I’m not in the habit of walking out on people I’m also not in the habit of not making people hard, so I still kind of feel justified. 2) Hope you didn’t get robbed when I left the door open and 3) if you still have my bag PLEASE get in touch! My glasses are in it!!